6 Ways To Show Up For Others

We believe character is learned, cultivated, and shaped by our experiences. At First Tee,  we focus on taking the valuable lessons learned on the course, and applying them to everyday lives at school, at home, and in our communities. We believe that part of being a good leader and becoming a game-changer involves showing up for others whenever possible. Here are six ways that you can encourage your child to show up and help others: 

At Home

  • Encourage them to help with household chores. By taking on important tasks around the house, they can help  maintain a clean space for themselves while alleviating stress on the whole family. Handling household chores develops a sense of personal responsibility, time management, and can build leadership skills.
  • Have them dedicate time to helping their younger siblings with homework. By spending time teaching their siblings, they can strengthen their relationships with each other, and exceed in their classes. Teaching others often builds intelligence and increases confidence.

In The Community

  • Encourage your child to help individuals in the community. By helping vulnerable members of the community, your child can make a real difference in their lives. Additionally, helping others will help teach your child compassion and empathy, two qualities of good leaders.
  • Sign them up to volunteer for a local nonprofit with ties to the community or neighborhood. Volunteering is typically a social activity, which will help build connections with other locals that are likely to share similar interests and values. Volunteering locally will also provide a sense of personal satisfaction, and will make your child  feel more connected to their community.

At School 

  • Suggest tutoring a struggling classmate. Teaching others is oftentimes the best way to understand a topic yourself. By tutoring others, your child will have the opportunity to show compassion and build relationships, while also helping them to better understand the material and become more self confident.
  • Encourage your child to befriend anyone who may be new to the community or struggling socially. By befriending classmates who are having trouble making friends, your child can empower them and help build their confidence. This simple act of kindness can play a major role in making other students feel included and more engaged at school. 
These six suggestions are just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to the ways you can teach your child to show up for others. Our coaches and staff at First Tee encourage you to practice some of these suggestions, and come up with your own. We guide kids and teens to strengthen what’s inside  and put it into action. If you are interested in getting your child involved with First Tee, you can learn more and sign up today! 

Quick 9: Denise W

Mentoring

Denise W, First Tee – San Francisco 

1. Why is mentorship important?

It’s easy to get lost and overwhelmed, especially since we now live in an extremely fast-paced world where expectations for us are very high, so having a mentor to guide us through our development process is definitely reassuring.

2. What makes someone a good mentor?

Listening and being able to communicate effectively are qualities that make someone a good mentor. With such qualities, a mentor will be able to offer constructive feedback which will aid in a mentee’s future development.

3. Who has been an impactful mentor to you?

My mom has definitely been the most impactful mentor for me.

4. What have you learned from her/him?

From my mom, I learned that no matter what the circumstances are, hard work pays off. My mom immigrated to the U.S. in hopes to find better future prospects for the family and despite not knowing any English, she still continued to work hard in the U.S. to achieve her goals. In the end, all of her hard work and efforts paid off because she was able to provide the basic necessities for our family and grant my siblings and I access to a higher education.

5. How did/does your mentor help encourage you?

My mom always tells me, “Don’t be afraid of failure. Just go for it!” These are words that I will always remember because they encourage me to try new things, even if I don’t necessarily succeed. It’s a way of telling me that failure is a learning experience and if I fail, I can keep trying.

6. Have you grown as a result of your mentor?

Yes, I have grown as a result of my mom. Her guidance has helped me become more disciplined and more open to new experiences and opportunities. Without her, I don’t think I would be the person I am today.

7. What would it mean to you to become a mentor? Or Do you serve as a mentor at your chapter or any other capacity?

For me, being a mentor is very meaningful and fulfilling because not only am I able to help others, I am also able to develop myself further as a leader.

8. Do you have any advice on how to choose the best mentor in your life?

Find someone who cares about you and is willing to take the time out of their busy day to listen to your needs and help you.

9. What has First Tee taught you about mentorship?

First Tee has taught me that both the mentor and mentee are learners. Both rely on each other as a resource for new perspectives and knowledge. It’s not a one way relationship where only the mentor is helping the mentee.

Quick 9: Ricky L.

Mentoring

Ricky L., First Tee – Tri Valley

1. Why is mentorship important?

Mentorship is important because it allows a chain of knowledge and wisdom from years of experience from mentors to be passed down to mentees, unlocking their potential. Mentorship gives underprivileged students guidance to take control of their own life.

2. What makes someone a good mentor?

A great mentor is someone who has as much common ground with the mentee as possible, such as similar circumstances, college, passions, and career trajectory. More importantly, a great mentor actively listens to the mentee, providing insightful feedback, advice, or opportunities in return.

3. Who has been an impactful mentor to you?

The mentor I have been paired with from the First Tee Scholarship, Jim Smith from Morgan Stanley, has been an amazing mentor, a key guide through all my academic, career, and spiritual difficulties.

4. What have you learned from her/him?

Through our monthly discussions together over the past year, Mr. Smith has given me an abundance of wisdom from his years of experience in becoming a Senior Wealth Portfolio Manager. Also, his advice has helped me get past my choice paralysis in deciding career pathways and majors in college.

5. How did/does your mentor help encourage you?

When I hear about Mr. Smith’s stories of his journey in finding, developing, and maintaining both a loyal client basis and talented team through ups and downs, I am inspired. Additionally, Mr. Smith provides so many life tools, advice, and books/video recommendations to help me stay on a healthy path and achieve career goals.

6. Have you grown as a result of your mentor?

Because of Mr. Smith, I have learned to prioritize my different goals and face my reality with a clear mind. Although remaining open to life, I truly want to serve the world, my community, and my family while also pursuing my passions in computer science, finance, and fitness.

7. What would it mean to you to become a mentor? Or Do you serve as a mentor at your chapter or any other capacity?

Being a mentor to someone is a true honor to me because I can impact someone’s life so personally. I am in Harvard’s Chinese Student Association, and as a sophomore, I am a mentor to freshmen paired with me. Although it can be worrying wondering if you are providing value to your mentees, remember that simply listening and sharing your experience can help them out.

8. Do you have any advice on how to choose the best mentor in your life?

Be open to all mentors, even if they may not align with you in certain aspects such as passions, hobbies, career path, or academic major. Hearing a different perspective may change your mind and open new pathways that you may have not considered. Listen to what your mentor truly has to say and keep asking questions.

9. What has First Tee taught you about mentorship?

First Tee has taught me that mentorship comes from a genuine care to better the world and your community, and that most often, mentees become mentors to future generations. Mentorship keeps the spirit of the First Tee alive as older students come back to volunteer their time to help their chapters.

Looking Back on the First Tee Leadership Summit

This August, we held our first ever First Tee Leadership Summit in the unforgettable backdrop of West Creek Ranch in Montana. This event took place for two weeks, bringing together 20 teens each week from across the country to develop leadership skills through dynamic outdoor and team-building activities. Through collaborative workshops, First Tee’s core competencies of building character, self-confidence and resilience played a huge part of the experience, to explore the concepts of relationship building, positive risk taking, and character evaluation. We recently caught up with participant Benjamin Parris from First Tee – Denver to hear how this year’s event impacted him.

Benjamin Parris, First Tee – Denver

In Denver, I often hear the amazing experiences fellow participants have when they return from First Tee national events. Until the first week of August 2021, I had never experienced one for myself and I was not quite sure what to expect when I was selected for The First Tee Leadership Summit in Partnership with the PGA TOUR Superstore at Mr. Arthur M. Blank’s West Creek Ranch in Montana. As soon as I arrived at the airport, I knew it would be a special week as I was immediately greeted by fellow participants and alumni chaperones. When we arrived at West Creek, even more participants were eager to greet us and introduce themselves. I knew I had formed relationships almost immediately, and those only got better as the week went on. At the summit, we got to participate in activities such as horseback riding, archery, white water rafting, and other spectacular outdoor experiences. Also, during our days, we had the opportunities to listen to guest speakers like Dick Sullivan (CEO of the PGA TOUR Superstore), Ralph Stokes (the PGA TOUR Superstore’s Director of Partnership Marketing and former University of Alabama running back), Joe Shepard (a PGA TOUR Superstore Regional Manager), Stacie Monks (a PGA TOUR Superstore District Manager), and our keynote speaker Michael Vick (former NFL quarterback). We learned lessons in values, teamwork, skill sets, representation, and more. Each day at the summit had a different theme. Our themes were: “relationships are the foundation for leadership,” “positive risk taking,” and “my character is me.” While our speakers were able to give us insightful words and stories on these themes, we learned just as much from our outdoor experiences as we did from our speakers. On Tuesday, we focused on relationships and how trust is the foundation of every successful relationship. After hearing from Dick Sullivan and Michael Vick, six participants, including myself, departed for the ropes course while everyone else elected to horseback ride. When we arrived, we immediately had to build a relationship as we picked partners to ascend on a partner climb up a 30-foot wooden ladder. My partner Sam Gibbs from the First Tee of Fort Worth deserves a quick shoutout for putting her trust in me all week from the second we became partners at the ropes course. On Wednesday, we worked on taking positive risks. My first risk of the day was waking up at 6:30 after a late night to go on a sunrise hike. Let me tell you, the views in Montana were spectacular, it was very much worth the risk of not sleeping in. Later that day I took another risk by going on a 3-hour horseback excursion, by far the longest I had ever been near another animal, besides my dog at home. My biggest takeaway from learning about positive risks were to approach people who think differently than you so you can challenge your own thinking and to seek out your own mentorships. On Thursday, our final full day at the summit, we did a lot of self-reflection while thinking about how to own our characters. Stacie Monks began the day after another gorgeous sunrise hike. She posed the following question to all the participants. “What type of leader do you want to be?” She went onto discuss how to create a culture when you are leading others and how to empower them. Later that morning we had perhaps the hardest task of the entire summit, but also to me the most impactful. We were asked to complete this phrase. “This is what I believe about myself as a leader…” This wasn’t a simple sentence to complete, and to really answer the question, it required more than just a few sentences. To complete the thought, I had to reflect upon all the things I had been through that week at West Creek. I had to think about climbing with a partner, taking leaps of faith, the inspiration I had received from our speakers and workshops, and what I had learned from all the people around me. Later that evening, we sat around the fire pit as we listened and shared all 18 of us has discovered about ourselves as leaders. My favorite part of the leadership summit was the comradery all of the participants formed. I got the opportunity to make 17 new friends, who over the course of the week felt like family. I know that I’ll be keeping in touch with them for years and years to come and can’t wait until I can see them again. For me, the week made me feel like a true member of the greater First Tee family. I had never met a fellow participant from outside of Colorado, but now I feel like I’m connected to the First Tee everywhere I go. I can’t wait to stay involved with the program as I go to college and beyond. I want to thank the First Tee, PGA TOUR Superstore and West Creek Ranch staff one final time for giving me what was truly a life changing experience. The programming was phenomenal, and the experiences were irreplicable. I came back home truly knowing what type of leader I am and how I can continue to grow as a leader. I can’t wait to apply what I learned in Montana to our local programs in Denver as well as other extracurriculars I participate in. I feel honored that I was a part of the inaugural summit.

Healthy Mindset Quick 9

This month, we had the privilege of hearing from a participant and a coach, from First Tee – South Puget Sound, about their thoughts on keeping a healthy mindset.

Mason G., 10 years old

1.Why do you think having a healthy mindset is important?

When you have a healthy mindset you feel good about yourself and others.

2. How do you keep a healthy mindset?

By listening to music, and thinking about positive things in my life.

3. How do you prepare for school/work?

Eating a good breakfast.

4. How do you prepare for social activities (First Tee, other clubs, hanging out with friends)?

By just having fun….

5. If you’re stressed, what do you do to relax?

I lay down and get comfortable and watch some YouTube videos or TV.

6. Who can you turn to if you need help?

Mom and Dad.
Mason and Coach Frank

7. If you make a mistake, how do you learn from it and move forward?

I think about what I did wrong and how I can do better next time.

8. If you see a friend or family member in need, what can you do to encourage them?

I talk to them and ask them what’s wrong and tell them that it’s the past and to move on.

9. What has First Tee taught you about a healthy mindset?

First Tee has taught me good manners, positive habits and how to behave on the golf course. Thank you to all my First Tee Coaches – special shout out to Coach Frank.

4 Steps to Developing A Healthy Mindset

What we think, influences our behaviors and emotions every day. Just as you exercise your swing before hitting the ball, it’s important to practice things that can lead to a healthy mindset. Our minds are valuable tools, and maintaining a healthy headspace on and off the golf course can improve confidence and drive. First Tee guides kids to develop stronger social and emotional wellness skills through active learning experiences. These lessons can be used by youth and adults to develop and maintain healthy mindsets at home, school, and in the community. Here are four steps to start developing a healthy mindset.

1. Have a positive attitude.

By focusing on gratitude and practicing positive-self talk, you might be surprised by how much better it makes you feel. Everyday look for new ways to nurture your positive attitude through eating healthy, staying active, and being honest.

2. Give your best effort.

Parents and mentors can encourage kids to give their best effort as often as possible, and keeping yourself accountable is the easiest way to lead by example. Giving your best effort allows you to realize what you are truly capable of, and become more confident in your skills. 

3. Give back.

Giving back to your community, or causes that you care about is another great way to maintain a healthy mentality. Volunteering can help your family connect with others who hold similar values and beliefs. Even activities as simple as tutoring someone on the weekend, or pulling a neighbors weeds can have a tremendous effect on the community you live in.

4. Take ownership.  

Helping kids realize they have control over the outcomes of the challenges they face, can help build confidence and reduce anxiety. Reducing anxiety and practicing problem-solving capabilities at a young age can have a huge effect on how their mindset develops through the rest of their lives. First Tee guides kids to strengthen what’s inside them and put it into action. It’s a priority for us to guide kids to care for their social and emotional wellness so when they step up to the next shot, math test, or presentation they have the strength to move forward, aim further, and finish stronger than the last time. Click here to find a First Tee chapter near you!

Quick 9: Showing up for Others

Emma Laker, First Tee — Greater Cincinnati & Northern Kentucky

1. What does “showing up for others” mean to you?

Showing up for others means that you are there for someone when they need you. You show kindness by helping others and not just thinking of yourself. You give people the respect they deserve.

2. How do you show up for your friends?

I show up for my friends by being there when they need me. One of my friends lost her mom and just by being there made her feel better and that everything was going to be okay.

3. How do you show up for your family?

I show up for my family by helping out around the house and making it easier on my parents. I realize how hard they work so that we can go to a Catholic school. I show them how thankful I am by trying hard with my schoolwork and doing my best I can.

4. How do you show up for your community?

I show up for my community by serving at my church and helping at my school. I helped at the After School Program by helping kids with their homework. I also volunteer at the Brighton Center around Christmas time by donating to families in need.

5. How do you feel after helping others?

I feel amazing. I realize how extremely lucky and blessed I am to have all of the love and  support  of my family and friends. When I am  helping others I feel like I am giving them some of my joy and happiness.

6. How do you mentally prepare to show up for your role (coach, student, parents etc)?

I show up for my role by being confident. I make sure that I have practiced as much as possible. I always make sure that I persevere and keep going no matter what. Whether good or bad I’ve tried my best and that’s all I can do.

7. What impact has it made on your life when someone has been there for you?

It shows me that I am surrounded by friends and family that love me no matter what. I can look up to my friends and family to help me through the rough times.

8. What does it feel like when someone is there for you?

It feels like I am loved. I have people who I can count on. It feels really good to have people in my life who can be there for me.

9. What have you learned through First Tee about showing up for others?

I  have learned  to  use the  core values. I have learned to  respect  others and my surroundings. I have also learned to  use responsibility while  on  the golf course. Using the Core Values allows us to show up for others.

Commonly Asked Questions about First Tee

First Tee builds experiences that build character. As a youth development organization, we believe experiences are our greatest teacher and that they should be both fun and meaningful, where kids feel excited to grow, safe to fail and better equipped for whatever comes their way. Whether you are looking to join our program or still considering your options, here are commonly asked questions to get you started.

How do you build character through golf?

We see golf as a metaphor for life. It’s not the score that counts, but what you learn along the way. Like in life, golf requires goal setting, working with others and digging deep when things get tough (perseverance). Golf is a perfect practice ground for learning skills that go far beyond the fairways.

What if my child has never picked up a golf club before?

We know it can feel intimidating to start something new. Everyone was a beginner once and our coaches are trained in creating a supportive environment to make kids feel comfortable and assure they have fun while learning about themselves and golf.

Do I need to provide golf equipment for kids?

Chapters provide access to all the equipment you will need. No need for special golf attire.

Will my child be participating in a safe environment?

First Tee and its chapters are committed to having a safe and welcoming environment for everyone involved in the organization. As part of our commitment, all employees, coaches and volunteers must complete a background check before working with our youth. Plus, all employees, coaches, volunteers, and board members are required to complete the U.S. Center for SafeSport training program.

Is there competition and physical activity?

Absolutely! First Tee is an activity-based program, so our lessons include movement that can range from games to walking/playing the course. As participants get older, they have the chance to compete at national events held across the country.

Is there a chapter near me?

We’re closer than you think. First Tee offers programs in all 50 states through First Tee chapters, School Programs, and after-school Community Programs. We also offer programs in a number of international locations.

What if I have financial concerns?

No worries—chapters offer full scholarships or reduced fee programming for those who need it.

Parents’ Guide

Flip through our parents’ guide to learn more about our wide ranging opportunities for kids and teens.

Get Involved

First Tee provides active learning experiences for youth that help build their inner strength, self-confidence and resilience. Find a chapter today!

Empowering Youth Through Golf

Golf is a metaphor for life – full of unexpected challenges, and how we choose to respond defines who we are. As the kids and teens in our programs know, success is not defined by how well we play the game.  It’s not about the score at the end of a round, or whether they won the tournament. It’s about the journey. What we learn along the way. And what we do with that learning makes all the difference. What makes First Tee different from other youth development organizations is how we do our work: through golf. By seamlessly integrating the game of golf with a life skills curriculum, we create active learning experiences that build inner strength, self-confidence, and resilience that kids can carry to everything they do While participating in First Tee, 82% of the youth in our programs felt more confident with their social skills and 73% reported feeling more confident in their academic ability. “I am grateful for the First Tee program and the impact it has had on my life. I have learned that golf is much more than a game, much more than just swinging a club, and carries with it life lessons that I will draw from for the rest of my life. The program has provided me with opportunities to play matches and tournaments that not only improved my game but provided lasting friendships with the golf families and coaches over the years. The program has provided me with a safe place to be a lifetime student of the game. There will always be something to learn, something to change, something to improve, (whether it’s a part of my golf game or a non-golf, real life situation) and First Tee ties them all together in a pretty bow, and helps me understand the connection.” – Emily Knox, First Tee — Tri Valley Experiences are our greatest teacher. We believe in developing the ones that are just as fun as they are meaningful, where kids feel excited to grow, safe to fail, and better equipped for whatever comes their way next. Our trained coaches create safe, supportive and empowering environments to help our participants prepare for life ahead, including friendships, school, college and even their careers. Whether a child’s goal is to be a lawyer, a teacher, an astrophysicist, a musician, or a professional golfer, kids become a better version of themselves when they have the space to be who they are, surrounded by passionate people who guide them to see what they are capable of. If anyone you know thinks that golf isn’t for them, invite them to try it the First Tee way.

Quick 9 for Personal Growth through Golf

By: Andrew Olivo, Age 16, First Tee – Central Florida

1. How does golf relate to life? ​

Golf relates to life as it teaches many important qualities such as respect, responsibility, and judgment. These characteristics help me to make the right decisions in life and place me on a path for success.

2. How does golf challenge you to be a better person?

​Golf challenges me to be a better person by placing me in situations to embrace the life lessons that I learn. For example, on the course, I have to always be honest with myself, even when nobody’s watching.

3. What is your favorite part about playing golf? ​

My favorite part about playing golf is spending time on the golf course with my dad. He is usually very busy with work so it’s nice to have some bonding time with him on the course to talk and play.

4. What golf skill helps you the most off the course? ​

Perseverance helps me the most off the course as it pushes me to do my best despite challenges or difficulties I may face in achieving my goals.

5. How can golf make you a more well-rounded individual? ​

Golf makes me a more well-rounded individual by teaching me a variety of skills and characteristics that I use in my day to day life. For example, golf helps to build my self confidence and practice respect towards adults and peers in my life.

6. How are you inspired through golf?

​I am inspired through golf to continue to improve as I play competitively in tournaments and on my high school team. In addition, as a junior assistant coach, it has inspired me to give back to my community and teach younger golfers the game of golf and important life lessons.

7. How have you grown up over the past year?

​Over the past year, I have learned to take on more responsibilities and leadership roles. For example, I am dedicating more time to junior coaching classes in First Tee. In school, I have become more active in clubs and organizations that I am a member of.

8. What or who motivates you? ​

My parents motivate me to work hard and try my best in golf and school. They teach me to always be a good person and lead by example.

9. What is your personal growth goal? ​

My personal growth goal is to keep working hard in school to be accepted in a highly rated university. In addition to developing my academics, I also want to continue focusing on maintaining my health and fitness through physical activity.